Do we own our values or is it simply a scam?

by Emma

So we all claim to have individual morals and values… I certainly do.

I consider my own values as my inheritance from my grandmother. She was an amazing and strong woman.

I remember her wisdom when I was a child. I also remember her chastisements.

I honestly believe she made me the woman I am today. She gave me integrity, instilled values, and made me self-aware.


Are these traits truly our own or a replication of others?

Although my grandmother made such an emotional and psychological impact in me, have I developed my own cognitions? Or simply a duplication of hers? Is this free will or learnt behaviour?

Let’s take the issue of fidelity and culture. The diverse views on monogamy and pologamy in relationships.

Personally I lead a monogamous life. I confess my values do not comprehend the poly lifestyle. This does not make this view wrong. It simply does not connect to my own values. I would not inflict my values inappropriately on anyone else. I like the fact we live in such a diverse world, however, if my views were learnt behaviour…then do I own them?

To self explore this issue, I consider my deeper values and morals. I consider my own psyche and the way I choose to live. I am an emotional being and believe in the romance factor, I believe in the pairing of two. But are my values really based on preference?

I hold my values in high regards but if these are instilled by my own choice, are they actually a value anyhow? Or simply a state of mind.

To clarify this, I know that personally I would never engage in poly. I do not feel this would complete me and meet my needs. To give my all to someone is emotionally exhausting enough, allowing vulnerability to show and to invest a big part of me, which may or may not prove futile. But I do this, as like others, I choose happiness. I enjoy the ideation of pure coupling. I personally do not have the energy or emotional vigour to give to more than one. This is not to say, I do not support the views of others and if happiness prevails then who am I to interfere.

(If my significant other is reading this, remain aware this is not a suggestion, I stand my ground to be the only one).

On a serious note, the ideation of values remains questionable. We vow we will not steal, lie, hinder, offend, or hurt. Yet, we also do these things to ourselves on a daily basis. Are we really superficial? Are our values ‘dependant’ on the situation?

If they are a ‘learnt’ phenomenon, then who do we learn our self negativity from?

Is this really a choice or simply something we accept….to make it easier….to remain justified.
Just saying.

The mind of a deep thinker…or complete rubbish…it is all down to interpretation and perception…