Lonely realisation

by Emma

I sit here pondering. Thinking as usual. I look across at my son sleeping soundly asleep and then I feel empty as I look at my empty and uncreased bed.

My significant other lives away and although we do manage to see each other twice a week, it still feels like crumbs and not enough.

LDRs – promoted/demoted/loyally protected and then those who have no confidence in the ability of them.

I guess it is simply down to perception and experience. It is definitely one hell of a rollarcoaster of emotions…The highs and the lows. The internal questioning and the answers which never come.

Personally I have never experienced a bonding so intensely, so strong, yet in my away location, I still have to fight the demons of wanting to mind read and be assured that the ‘part time’ me will always win out. I am not a jealous woman but I am a woman, and to know ourselves truly, is to be true to our heart and head. Unfortunately affirmation and reassurance is only part time and on a schedule so those tiny doubts (which I usually kick ass on) occasionally come creeping right back in. I doubt I am alone on this. Long distance relationships suck! Too many goodbyes and curfews and time limitations.

I love impulse. I love having no time barrier. Yet I also love my man lots.

I truly think it is a prime example of life’s challenges. Life tests.

It would be easier if it wasn’t so frustrating. Anyone with me here?

Ironically, the hardship we face is usually due to a choice we have made. We simply hope to reap the benefits.

We hope for the dream.

The mind of a deep thinker…or complete rubbish…it is all down to interpretation and perception…