Sex, intimacy and chocolate fudge cake!

by Emma

It’s a known and evidenced fact that chocolate stimulates and increases the release of endorphins and offers a pleasuring response. It also creates a satisfied feeling of wellbeing.

It really does promote a comforting response and communicates positively with our brain.

In distressing situations, chocolate really is a (wo)man’s best friend.

The journey of this chocolate experience is dopamine. Dopamine is the craving, the desire, the infatuation.

The dopamine is what we chase and what we cannot get enough of. Ironically, dopamine is not bad. It is what aids us in decision making. It provides motivation to work towards our desire.

The satisfying result is the release of the endorphins.

Endorphins is the exquisite taste. Endorphin release is the orgasm.

To consider this in relation to sex, we need to realise that the strength of dopamine is not determined by the physical activity, but rather by the signals and instincts within our brain.

Dopamine provides the raw desire and need, but is underlined by our instinct for survival and happiness.

This leads to further exploration and questioning on intimacy.

Sex is not intimacy. Neither is eating chocolate cake.

Although dopamine is involved in both processes and endorphins are the result, these are released in different degrees. The result is measurable.

We do have a preference in our taste buds concerning chocolate. Some chocolate tastes amazing. Others taste simply good.

If it was always simply due to the release of a hormone, then surely it would all offer the same exquisite result?

If it was simply due to survival and happiness mechanisms, then surely both chocolate and sex would satisfy to a high and mutual standard.

So what makes intimacy different?

Intimacy is governed by the release of dopamine. It does release endorphins also but the dependance is also based on our psyche. We unconciously control the amount of dopamine based on our raw senses and gut feeling.

Survival and instinct are subconscious. These are automatic responses. Yet in intimate situations, we also have a conscious choice.

Intimacy is based on both instinct and personal desire.

It is not purely physical. It is not simply an activity we participate in. It is a bonding of perspectives, an intellectual and psychological connection. It is a fine tuning. It is a spiritual and aesthetic development.

The endorphin release is interchangeable and requires growth to ascertain it’s continuity. It also requires a balance on mood, perception and behaviours.

The more we bond with someone, the bigger the dopamine release and the better the endorphin result.

Trust and honesty play crucial roles. As do compassion and love.

Intimacy is chemical and biological. It is also emotional. It cannot grow without the emotive angle. So why does it feel different with different people?

If our instincts are clearly based on hormones and finding a mate for survival, then why are our responses so selective and personal? Does this promote our individual ‘gut’ feelings or are we actually ‘meant’ to be, to feel and to know.

Does fate actually play a part?

Sex and chocolate are simply responses.

They are not special. They feel damn good but intimacy, now that is the biggest explosion.

‘Being loved by someone deeply gives you strength, whilst loving someone deeply gives you courage’ Lao Tzu

The mind of a deep thinker…or complete rubbish…it is all down to interpretation and perception…