Keep on Believing…

by Emma

When I was a little girl I had a dream. I dreamt I would grow up and live happily ever after. I foresaw a fairytale in my perceptive eye.

I was happy being naive and built my childhood on a foundation of dreams.

I dreamt I would meet a man who I loved. A man who was also my best friend.

I dreamt I would be successful. I wished for job satisfaction. A career I loved.

I also wished one day to have children of my own. To support and enhance their dreams. Their wishes. To teach them to pursue their aspirations.

As I grew, the dream faded as reality took hold. I realised dreams were sometimes much different to reality. Sometimes they faded and sometimes they didn’t come true.

The biggest realisation was in regards to my own aspirations. To succeed, I had to work. I had to remain motivated and determined. My success did not rely on dreams. It relied on me.

I aspired to fulfill this. Amidst tears, sweat, blood and hard work, I graduated and made my dream a reality.

It felt god damn good.

The small and innocent child in me cheered and gave a high five.

I was lucky to be given the honour of birthing my amazing son. Indeed, he satisfied all my dreams of being a mother.

The child in me rejoiced once more and felt excelled. She had satisfied a wishful pleasure.

During the years, my romantic notion waivered. My percieved ‘prince’ turned into a frog over and over, I lost count. The little girl in me stopped believing. I became accepting.

Then someone came along who changed this adult perception. He surprised me and made me realise that they do exist after all. Before I met him, I didn’t realise that something was missing. I didn’t realise I had been blindly searching. For the first time, I felt complete.

To analyse that would not do it justice. I don’t know why, how, when or where. I simply love how I feel. How he makes me feel. I know that I don’t want to lose that. The little girl clutches it close.

I feel blessed to have the chance to watch my child grow, and see that little girls perceptions in his eyes.

The little girl believed in a miracle but her confidence and motivation enabled her to keep pushing when things became difficult. When I got presented with my degree, I could see her smiling.

She giggled and pushed me on.

She sat quietly when I made my personal promise. To experience life and make every moment count. She made me realise that a moment can mean a thousand things. When they are gone, you cannot ever get them back. It is then forever lost in time. Lost within regret and sadness and tangled in shattered hope.

I promised never to leave her again. She smiled and held my hand.

I aim to keep that little girl alive and keep on believing.

The mind of a deep thinker…or complete rubbish…it is all down to interpretation and perception…

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