The One

by Emma

There are so many concepts about love and philosophy, in books, over the Internet, and portrayed in limitless films.

The notion of such a love is highly romanticised and decorated in sweet whispers, red satin, and fluffy hearts. It is never advertised as a balanced and mutual appreciation, or as a foundation of common values and distinguished journeys. That hardly sounds romantic, however it is more realistically concrete and cognitively sound.

Personally, I am a romantic type of person. I love the passion and impulsivity of undiluted desire. I thrive on the physiological flavour of excitement and anticipation, yet I also remain logical. Every relationship begins with the pixilated view of another person. We fall in love with the image they portray, the perfected fabrication, the idealistic irony. This love never lasts. This only exists in our imagination. Perfection.

It is a fairytale.

The edges fray like an aged newspaper, reality takes over fantasy, and disappointment is born and bred. We become conditioned to the idea of the person, instead of the reality of their being.

Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yet once it has ended, only the strongest bonds will remain. Some will last for a few weeks, months, years even. Others will last a lifetime. Yet we all started out the same. In mutual balance.

One plus one equals two.

So what’s the catch? I personally believe that the secret is realism and appreciation. We will all show our ideal and better self to a new potential partner initially, yet once we drop our guard, and they drop theirs, stark reality becomes the dominant factor. We swim or sink.

To have our own expectation and conditions is paramount in self-actualisation, however, we need to judge others on their own merits and failures. We are not perfected beings. We will make mistakes, and we will show our ugly sides. To view a partner in all lights, yet continue to appreciate them for all their personality traits, creates a deeper love. The everlasting kind.  Deeper and more meaningful.

Love is not all about romantic love sonnets and stolen kisses, it is about creating a partnership of equality, respect, and continued devotion. To support and love another, as we do ourselves. To walk beside another at their best, and their worst, yet keeping our footsteps in perfect rhythm.

Fluffy hearts will age. Flowers will die. Sonnets will become forgotten words. Yet appreciation and tenderness will continue to thrive on the emotionally harvested soil.

That is real love. The love we should all aspire for. 

The mind of a deep thinker…or complete rubbish…it is all down to interpretation and perception…