Loving over a distance

by Emma

I am in the most amazing relationship with my best friend and love of my life. Trouble is we do not live in the same city.

I have been in relationships before who dwell in my home town and pretty frankly, they left me feeling lonely and yearning. Even by my side, I felt unfulfilled.  My significant other fulfills my needs and when we are together, I feel complete. When we are apart, I feel lonely and yearning. It’s a crazy emotional paradox.

I refer back to my post Love near and far and re-emphasise the importance of strength and connection in regards to purity of emotion. I know that our connection is phenomenal, and I feel lucky to have someone who inspires and completes me in the way he does, yet I still feel resentful at the injustice. It is like dangling a carrot to a rabbit then moving it out of reach, allowing him to take only small nibbles and delight in the texture and incredible flavour. It leaves you wanting and is psychologically difficult.

I analyse myself on this concept. I constantly question the validity and feasibility of this choice. Yet when I am standing in front of him, and looking into his eyes, there is nowhere else I would rather be. If pain is love, then I love the pain. Ironic really.

There is so much literature on the concept of LDR or distance lovers, and statistically, these are put into a negative and failing category. I stand strong on this notion, everybody is individual and every relationship is different. I am not the type of person who sits firmly in her box, and in regards to my own commitment, my relationship will bite chunks out of any quantitative research figures.

Having said this, it is not easy. Affirmation is important to remind us of the mutual investment. I do not get my needed daily fill of night time cuddles and sweeter embraces, so remaining honest is the only way to fight the negative demons. I do believe that it makes you stronger. I believe it creates a dominant seal to the bonding. A LDR is not easy, it is not simple, yet it becomes richer with time and mutual integrity.

Love comes in various forms. Some are lucky to meet their desired one. Others never do. Some of us hurt, some of us continue to search. Yet when we find that something special, that extrodinary love, we need to embrace it and protect it. We then become the lucky ones. Whether it is a nibble or a large bite, the flavour is irresistible and becomes a chosen necessity in our life diet. The journey becomes richer and more meaningful.


The mind of a deep thinker…or complete rubbish…it is all down to interpretation and perception…