Osteogenesis Imperfecta- Cushioned In Love

Expressive and Emotional word content… poetic justice… my thoughts are perceptive, occasionally subjective but always dimensional. My career lies in psychology and my mind lies in philosophy. To question and ponder is to reflect. I am both reflective and directive. I never walk with caution as our steps need their footprints. I love this journey we call life.

Category: Psychology

Waiting to meet you…

I watch the hands as the clock bypasses time,

I feel you nearer,

The tick tocking in my heart

I can see you in my minds eye

Your smile warming my life

Who will you be my precious girl,

My sparkling snowflake,

I will chase your dreams and will catch for you,

My hand, ever warm, holding you tight

My heart in in time with yours.

My snowflake

I wrote this for my unborn little lady who the specialists believe has Osteogenesis Imperfecta – to joe public, this is brittle bones. I’m on a journey of discovery, heartache, intrigue, fear, anxiety, yet excitement. I don’t know what my little lady will have, nor do I know whom she will be. What I do know, is that like a butterfly, she will soar… and like a snowflake, she will glisten beautiful and serene.

My snowflake

Who will you be, this beauty of mine,

Sent to me to cherish and love,

Will you be vibrant, so full of life,

My angel of glass from above

A snowflake you are, So precious and true,

Gleaming and sparkling in light

my beautiful girl, I see you there

Your smile, my heaven delight.

I’ll hold your hand, and wipe your tears,

My vision of perfection you are,

My delicate snowflake,

That intricate you,

My shining and glittering star 💫

My Precious

Yet do I know you, but I feel you in my heart,

Your story is waiting to begin,

the page is blank,

Just reinforced by love, my sweetest one

Trepidation I own, yet I cannot wait to know you,

Your scent already etched in my bones,

Your smile in my heart,

My arms ready to pull you close and stroke your tiny face

I know you as I have dreamt you,

Dreams afresh and alive,

I see your angelic face,

I hear your laugh, infectious, and I know,

You were sent from above.

Diet warrior or simply weak…

So today was a productive day… followed by a bad ass chicken dinner, cleaning complete, and now a bubble bath and…

A RIPPLE! (And other edible delights)

Sod diets today! I’m a diet rebel and taking the K.O. for all warrior ladies!! Want cake? Friggin eat it and enjoy every mouthful! Chocolate?? Double please!! 😂😋😜

Sometimes only the sweetest, naughtiest and goopiest option will do. Who wants to live by guidelines anyhow 🤷‍♀️

So I will climb down from my soap box and as I stuff my mouth with the sweetness of Cadbury, I will brownie promise that I will stick to the diet tomorrow…. or the next day….

Age is simply a number

Sometimes life really seems to creep up on you and then begins to go on past you, not giving a shit, and you are left rubbing your head and questioning ‘what the hell happened there?’

It’s like when you get that deja vu moment and then remember a memory which you must have stored deeply under a layer of dust, but seems only like yesterday. Then BAM.. you realise it was stored under that thick layer of celebral dust because it was in actual fact prehistoric. A complete emphasis on how much we have aged… without realising.


It kind of blows everything else up and makes us question our own mortality as life really is slinking by, giving no shits, and taking no prisoners. Apart from loosening the skin around our eyes, breasts and ass, and leaving those amazing wrinkles to mark it’s god damn territory.

I remember being younger, looking up at 30 plus year olds (see how I am protecting my age there) and thinking ‘Jesus they are old’

Now I’m them, and I was right.

I have lost the years somewhere between wishing I was older, and then trying to be young and able to multitask.

Now I am the 30 plus year old looking at the younger generation and thinking ‘Oh my, they have so much to learn’.

Then I sit back smugly, drinking my cup of hot brewed tea and feel satisfied that with age, also comes wisdom, experience, and knowledge.

As those memories of hideous outfits, hand hiding hairstyles, god damn awful ex’s, and morning walks of shame, cloud my mind, I breath a sigh of relief.

I kindly hand that shit to the younger generation and I’ll own my age. As with age, comes realisation and clarity.

Still there’s always options to get rid of those wrinkles and photo shop does wonders….

Illustration – sharing the love ❤️

So I am sharing some of the recent work of louishonca.com as I personally think his work is phenomenal! Art is simply a shadow of our soul, and it gives us the freedom to express our true selves. The appreciation provides the echo which can ensure it continues to love and be loved.

Let us all dance with our own shadows and become the echo for each other 😊

Dress it up or keep it real

Every day we become a different version of ourselves. We are different from the day before, yet we remain fluid in this transition, and can put our costume on depending on the situation.

As individuals we encompass so many roles, and with each role comes a new list of responsibilities, expectations, and individual traits. Often we can forget who we are and become lost in the tunnels of the internal empire which we create.

We can become so many things to so many different people that we lose who we want to be. Our identity becomes tinged with confusion, and the lines begin to blur.

The role of a mother or father is complex. We need to love, to care, teach, to supervise. We need to instruct, to share, to advocate, and to guide. We need to constantly risk assess, yet also step back and watch from afar.

We see others and have to fight the comparisons, the judgements. We need to see what is real and diminish the frosted front.

We watch with our eyes but often feel plagued by our own doubts and insecurities, until our eyes are questioned, and life becomes much more chaotic.

A lioness with a beak or a fish with claws… often we hinder our strengths by forever envying and comparing ourselves to others. We inevitably often fail and then simply fall back into the cycle of self doom and negativity.

Sometimes we just need to strip the masks and face life head on with simple naked emotion. Show each other whom we are and become the definition which we seek.

Real. Uncomplicated. Alive.

Love life with No filter

❤️Love island❤️… yep half the UK are watching it (including I) …. beautiful people in a villa, searching for love… cute? Real? Nah!

Let’s be honest here.. who actually has teeth that white, bodies that defined (unless you eat a lettuce leaf a day, and spend 5 hours in a gym) and hair and make up perfect?! (Even after being in the pool, the sun?) where’s the sweat??! The panda eyes 👀 and the acne?

I think it’s like playing dolls as adults. We love the stories that are created in the ‘dolls’ house, gives us entertainment and amusement. Back in the real world though… Bigger arses, bits of cellulite, ‘real’ teeth, bad hair days, and take outs…. but also real emotion, acceptance, and the most important… being able to say ‘fuck it’ and relax.

No judgement and panic.

Instagram is another example of insecurity and craziness!! What’s with these damn filters that make your nose look like it’s been eaten right off your face! Honestly, how long do people stand in that damn mirror trying to perfect a photo?? I say sod it, be real, and own that shit!! Live life without a filter!! In every way!! 👊🏻

The value of life

I felt perplexed and uncomfortable initially writing this post as this topic is subjective, and sensitive to some. It is also interchangeable, hard to measure, and frankly sore.

How can we put a value on life? Is our value equally proportionate to our own experiences, or is this simply biased, based on negative perception, or positive naivety?

I ask this as today I had the unfortunate (or fortunate, depends how you look at it) experience on my way home from my university course. I came across a fellow student in a distressing and risky situation, were I feel that she was contemplating this exact value. I said fortunate experience as I do feel that we had disturbed a possibly irreversible event, and I am so grateful for this. This lady evidently needed help so I do not feel like our intervention was a hindrance, nor would I have done anything different. I don’t believe this person devalued life, I believe her own narrative told a story of pain, torture and desperation, and at that moment, value was meaningless. Like many other people in similar situations, this shit is real. I see the pain and can feel the hope dripping away from them, and this challenges every drop of my own integrity, and passion for both my personal and professional stance. I value life.

Yet so do they.

Ignorance states choosing to not value life is selfish and cowardly. However, if life is causing continuous pain and suffering, then the value has clearly diminished for that person and who are we to judge. We don’t live their life and we do not know their narrative. It is not for us to judge, but to value not only our life, but also the way we live it. The way we don’t judge, and the way we are willing to help those who cannot see their journey as they are blinded by pain.

It is a joint journey we take on this game of like and we pick others up and promote the value When they can’t see, we become their eyes, and when they lose their words, we offer words of support.

The value of life. My own, yours, his, hers, and theirs…..

Sun ponders, smiles, rain and despair!

The sun is red hot as I sit in my garden listening to the sounds of summer, the dogs barking in excited chatter, the bees flying around busy at work..

Quiet reflection is impossible, but it gives realistic pondering centre stage. Everybody is enjoying the weather, the bbqs are dusted off, social groupings grow, people enjoy good food and drink. Everybody is happy. The sun keeps on shining.

So what about when the sun packs it’s own bags and jets off away? When the rain returns, and the summer sounds are replaced with thunderous booms, and the sound of abandonment and empty streets.

Where do the happy people go? Crowds disperse, people hibernate, food and drink becomes purely a lifeline as the bbq is shunted back to its dusty place in the shed.

Do we honestly need that lightened sparkle to feel alive? That heat on our face, to feel blessed? We all love a sun tan and summer but winter, spring and Autumn are also worthy of the blessed delight.

Smile, we are alive!