Expressive and Emotional word content… poetic justice… my thoughts are perceptive, occasionally subjective but always dimensional. My career lies in psychology and my mind lies in philosophy. To question and ponder is to reflect. I am both reflective and directive. I never walk with caution as our steps need their footprints. I love this journey we call life.

Emotional investment or negative transaction?

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A bit of deepness for the day…

How much do we invest in things and people and how much do we see in our returns?

When we pay for goods with our money, we expect to see material evidence of this transaction or indeed a memorable experience to file away. But what if we made a transaction and checked our account to see a big fat zero?
I’m sure many of us would be seeking clarification and feeling rather cheated.

Yet, we invest in everything in life to varied degrees and we don’t always receive the booty.

How many times have you emotionally invested and been left with a big bag of nothing and perceived injustice?
But we continue to do this.

Why?

Emotional investment is indeed a gamble. We automatically invest in our families and reap the benefits from support mechanisms and security but what about when we invest in friendship and relationships?

What do we do if the cheque continues to bounce??

Do we feel justified in seeking clarification and interest on our emotional transaction? Is it a weakness or a strength to expect a credit statement? To expect to see our emotional interest rates increasing?

Personally I seek this from my significant other. I expect my balance to remain in credit and I believe that this theory works both ways. I do expect a return in friendships and to see a mutual healthy transaction taking place. We attend our jobs and expect a salary in return. We invest our time in our passions and reap the positive emotions. We gain knowledge and gain personal achievement and development. So are we allowing ourselves to be ‘ripped off’?

Self-awareness and integrity is an important part of sustaining a good ‘credit’ history. To enable a healthy profit, we also need to remain vigilant and consider the ratio of risk to healthy investment. Financially… we do. Emotionally and psychologically we often don’t.

How many times do we support friends and give to others only to feel unappreciated and disappointed?

A satisfactory transaction is a two way process and we need to keep our expectations high. Who wants faulty and non – returnable goods? If we expect less, surely we will receive less.

The link to our psyche is surprising yet logical. Our psychological interpretation impacts on our emotional stance and how we perceive our external world. This affects the value we put onto ourselves.

Make every transaction worthwhile… or simply ask for a refund.

The mind of a deep thinker…or complete rubbish…it is all down to interpretation and perception…

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Sunny reflection

This time of the year gives amazing opportunity for clear thinking. The sun shining through the window offers reflective clarity and fresh perspective.

It simply makes everything feel shinier and brighter 🙂

Optimism is not an illusion. It is a mindset. Sometimes we simply need a little sunny nudge to embrace it.

The mind of a deep thinker…or complete rubbish…it is all down to interpretation and perception…

Blurry eyes, copious yawns and eureka revelations!

There are many facets to being a nursing mother. The extra snuggles and devotion are indeed fruitful and continue to promote the emotional positives. Research continues to tap you firmly on the shoulder, and mummy pride aids in the darkest moments. However, scrap all of that for a moment, as I truly believe that another angle to consider lies between the times of 3am and 5am. This is what I refer to as the ‘lost hours’, the ones which disappear in the midst of nipple soreness, baby balancing, and the multitasking form of controlling a vicious and rampant milk letdown. All this whilst the hubby remains sleeping also! I often ponder how he would react if I aimed my dairy firearm in his direction! Anyhow, back to the night time juggling, and the sense of satisfaction you feel with a successful latch and a settled baby. It is at this point when the lost hours become something else. These hours provide the base for reflection and deep thought. I could stare dismally at the wall and become majorly irritated by the odd flake of paint hanging off, but instead I use my time wisely. I plan, I seek, I analyse, and I ponder deeply. In those lost hours, I find solace. I find meaningful thought content. I then fall asleep satisfied, as does baby.

I awake in the morning and usually  can not remember much of those eureka moments, yet I continue to bathe in the knowledge and wishful thinking that 3am serves me fairly. One day I am sure my ideas will flourish me.

We all need a silver lining … Especially in the night! 

Baby brain, and life as we know it – or thought we did!


Art accredited to Louis Honca Art.

Three months and 3 glorious days of baby snuggles, that new born contagious smell, that strong and fierce lioness possessiveness, and the balanced sense of pride vs irrational anxiety – and you still aren’t even close! Add a sprinkle of hormones, a dash of irritability, a slurp of fear and a gallon of insomnia and then place these fine ingredients into the body of a corpse mummy and then we are walking the same path.

Motherhood! Babies! 

An explosive bottom which does not conform to waking hours, or before and after meal times. Tiny limbs encasing an ever vibrant and loud alarm clock, which does not offer a snooze option – add this to the already busy and multifaceted existence and things get interesting! 

Washing, cleaning, feeding, sleeping, walking, sitting, laying, needing, wanting, bathing, toileting, shopping, working, watching, seeing, feeling…and being. A juggling conundrum of OMG!

The 3am tribulations, and then the sense of achievement of settling the mini one, to then realise that sleep has long gone and the irrational fear of watching a sleeping baby is preferable. That dreaded anxiety and need to check, check – and check again! 

Shopping is no longer about Radley, Kipling, or  any other words or letters incorporating a golden price tag, it is now about the oohs and awwww’s of those tiny dungarees or that new parenting invention that EVERY magazine raves about… and a must have to qualify as a loving and ‘successful’ parent!

To dress up and make the effort now includes tucking in the baby bulge and holding the evident belly in for timely camera poses, and luck is in if the attire is not inclusive of the latest baby fashion – shoulder drool and milky sick! 

Life certainly looks and feels a lot different to 3 months and 3 days previously. Yet that warm bundle of hard work and life change that I am holding in my arms, gives me more pleasure and more worth than my previous  structured existence. The journey is indeed a crazy roller coaster of unknown entities and direction, yet I’m riding with excitement, stimulation and a huge ‘hell yeah’!

Mindful Soldier

Bright eyes flicker,
Burnt by the crisp morning light,
Ideas releasing,
Flow vibrant upon the creased sheet

Morning freshness alive
Remnants of impossibility,
erased by the soulful minds eye,
Realistic perspective flavourings sprinkled
Generous into the coffee cup

Enlightened emphasis is born raring,
Motivated freely by inner desire,
A raising of the formidable pride,
A living soldier is risen.

The mind of a deep thinker…or complete rubbish…it is all down to interpretation and perception…

Two

Stroke me and I will sing for you,
A sweetened melody,
A continous bittersweet oblivion
Emotion rising with the chorus

Hold my hand and I will cling to you,
Certain in a belief of always
A harmonious and pure connection,
In tune with the beating of two hearts.

The mind of a deep thinker…or complete rubbish…it is all down to interpretation and perception…

Baby love

The gentle tapping of your foot reminds me you are there,
Waiting, ever ready
You remain my secret dancer,
Sweet epitheny,
Your soft rhythm in sharpened melody,
We share a moment in time.

I see you, yet you remain hidden,
Veiled beneath my vision,
I feel your presence ever growing,
Shining brighter,
Enveloping my emotions and embracing my world.
You capture my heart.

The mind of a deep thinker…or complete rubbish…it is all down to interpretation and perception…